Tips for a Memorable Holiday for All
Thanksgiving is a time to come together, celebrate, and share gratitude with loved ones. However, for families caring for someone with dementia, the holiday can present unique challenges. The large gatherings, noise, and unfamiliar routines can be overwhelming for someone living with cognitive impairment. With a little thoughtful planning and sensitivity, you can create a welcoming and dementia-friendly Thanksgiving that everyone can enjoy.
Here are some tips for making Thanksgiving a positive and memorable experience for your loved one with dementia:
1. Simplify the Environment
Large gatherings can feel chaotic and confusing for someone with dementia. To create a calming and manageable environment:
- Reduce noise and distractions, especially for those who may become agitated in loud environments.
- Avoid any large changes to the home or routine that might cause confusion.
- Keep the space tidy, and avoid excessive decorations that could overwhelm or confuse your loved one.
2. Communicate Clearly and Gently
People with dementia may struggle with communication, and the holidays can intensify this. Here are ways to make conversations smoother:
- Speak slowly and give your loved one time to process information.
- Understand that it might take a little longer for someone with dementia to respond or understand what’s being said. Maintain eye contact and use their name to get their attention.
- If your loved one says something inaccurate or forgets details, it’s usually better not to correct them, as this can cause distress. Instead, redirect the conversation gently.
- a conversation with the phrase “Do you remember…” puts the individual with dementia at a disadvantage and can immediately put them on the defensive, especially those who realize they are struggling with their memory. Instead try talking about the memory, saying “I remember the time when…” or “My favorite memory of Christmas was…” These are conversation starters that will lead to discussions.
3. Menu Planning
The traditional Holiday meal can be overwhelming in terms of both quantity and variety. Keep your loved one’s needs and preferences in mind:
- Offer a few familiar dishes that your loved one enjoys. Overloading the plate can be overwhelming, so try serving smaller portions and allowing the individual to focus on one dish at a time.
- People with dementia may have specific dietary restrictions or preferences, ensure the menu accommodates these needs, and make sure foods are easy to eat
- The scent of a favorite dish can be very comforting. Try to include meals that your loved one associates with happy memories.
4. Create a Calm and Relaxing Routine
Holiday festivities can often disrupt regular routines. Maintaining a familiar structure is important for someone with dementia:
- If your loved one typically eats lunch at noon, try to keep the timing of Thanksgiving dinner as close to their usual schedule as possible.
- Large family gatherings can be tiring. Encourage your loved one to take breaks when they feel the need. Set aside a quiet space where they can relax and recharge.
- If large crowds are overwhelming, consider hosting a smaller gathering with just a few close family members or friends. This can create a more manageable and less stressful atmosphere.
5. Keep Activities Simple and Engaging
Holiday traditions like games or crafts can be a fun way to involve everyone, including those with dementia, in the celebration:
- Holiday decorations or scents can evoke memories and engage the senses. Consider simple activities like looking through old family photo albums or listening to favorite holiday music together.
- Activities should be low-pressure and not too complex. Some individuals with dementia enjoy simple tasks like setting the table or helping with small kitchen chores, but it’s important to gauge their interest and energy levels.
- Gentle activities like a short walk or stretching can help reduce any agitation and keep everyone feeling energized.
6. Prepare for Potential Moments of Confusion or Anxiety
Dementia can cause confusion, anxiety, and even aggression in unfamiliar or stressful situations. It’s helpful to be prepared for these moments:
- If your loved one becomes agitated or confused, offer gentle reassurance and avoid arguing or raising your voice. Just the touch of your hand will provide reassurance and comfort.
- Sometimes, retreating to a peaceful, private space can help calm anxiety. Make sure the person with dementia has a quiet place to go if they feel overwhelmed.
- Remember that their feelings are real. Even if they can’t communicate why they’re upset, offering comfort and understanding can make a huge difference.
7. Include Everyone in the Celebration
While it’s important to acknowledge that someone with dementia may not be able to fully participate in every activity, there are still ways to include them in the celebration:
- Encourage family members to talk with your loved one about shared memories or experiences. Keep conversations positive and focused on familiar topics.
- If certain traditions or activities are too difficult for your loved one, consider adapting them to make them more accessible. For example, a simple holiday toast or a photo session can still be meaningful without requiring too much effort.
- Thanksgiving is about gratitude, not perfection. Allow your loved one to participate in whatever way they can and focus on the joy of togetherness.
8. Consider Hiring Help or Asking for Support
If you’re a caregiver, it’s essential to take care of yourself too. If you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of hosting or coordinating everything:
- Enlist the support of other family members or friends to share the tasks of cooking, serving, or entertaining.
- If your loved one needs more specialized support during the gathering, hiring a respite care worker or professional caregiver for a few hours can give you a break and ensure they receive the attention they need.
Final Thoughts
A dementia-friendly Thanksgiving doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your traditions—it’s about making thoughtful adjustments to ensure that everyone feels included, comfortable, and supported. With these strategies, you can create an atmosphere where your loved one can experience joy, connection, and the warmth of the holiday season, regardless of cognitive changes.
By preparing in advance and keeping your loved one’s needs in mind, you’ll create a Thanksgiving that is meaningful and full of love for everyone involved.
