Handling Aging Parent Guilt

Take care of your loved one by taking care of yourself.

Talking with an aging parent about moving to a Personal Care community can be difficult. Not just because they may not want to move, but because caregiver guilt may keep you from choosing the best option.

As they say before every flight, “In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from overhead. Put the mask on yourself first, before helping others.

A few years ago, Nancy Perinni, the adult daughter of a current Green Hills Manor resident, went through the emotional roller coaster of deciding how to help her mother. After her mother’s house became too difficult to maintain, she moved in with Nancy and her husband.

“I felt like she did so much for us, and now it was my turn” Nancy said.

Although she enjoyed spending more time with her mom, Nancy noted there were some difficult times too.

“My husband and I are very social people, and it was hard to leave my mom alone on Friday or Saturday nights. But all my siblings encouraged me to not feel guilty, because we needed to have a life and spend time alone together.”

But after almost five years, Nancy’s concerns only continued to grow. “Eventually, I was becoming the mom, and whenever I left the house, I worried she would fall and lie there until I got home.-

That’s when Nancy suggested that it may be time for her mom to consider moving into independent living at The Heritage. Her mom had friends who lived there and she would often go play bridge with them.

“It was a hard conversation – very emotional – and my mom cried. She wanted to keep living with us. But I suggested that it might be better for her to live around people her own age.-

For four years, Nancy’s mom had her own apartment until Nancy noticed she wasn’t always taking her medication. The decision was then made to move her to personal care at Green Hills Manor.

“It was an easy transition to Green Hills Manor and she gets great care there, which makes her happy and allows me to relax,- Nancy said.

To help you determine what type of care would work best for your loved one, here’s some helpful guidance.

If you’d like to discuss your options in more depth, fill out the Contact Us form on this page or call us at 484.577.3515.

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